


The Worst Halloween Party Ever

by Im__A__Brooklyn__Baby



Series: The Punk and The Jerk [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fire, Flaming Couches, Gen, Grinding (mentioned), House Party, It's lit yall, M/M, Parties, Russian Roulette, halloween party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 07:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5120033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im__A__Brooklyn__Baby/pseuds/Im__A__Brooklyn__Baby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky gets the bright idea of having a Halloween party. This might be his last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst Halloween Party Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, a Halloween oneshot! I know I'm late but who gives a shit. I hope ya'll like it!

Skeletons are having a party in his house. He  _swears._

 

No, this wasn't some magical shit. Or portal-y shit. This was _real_  shit.

Well, real _decorations_.

Today was one of Bucky's favorite days. He could dress up as whoever he wanted. Scare whoever he wanted. And eat any bizarre amount of candy he wanted. All without Steve's warnings.

This year was going to be great.

Bucky has a small little notepad clutched in his calloused hands, an assortment of ideas written on the page. His mind was trying to decide on grape punch or fruit punch. He points his fuzzy pink pen to the awaiting bowl, close to announcing _another_  drink suggestion. Steve sighed and pulled out a chair to sit. He'd figure if he was going to wait for Bucky to make a damn decision, he'd wait comfortably.

Not to sound all sappy but Steve was simultaneously annoyed and proud of Bucky. They were _actually_  inviting people over. A year ago, Bucky wouldn't have even brung up the topic of a house party. He specifically remember Bucky pretending to get a cold, like he can even catch one, to get out of Tony’s halloween party last year. He can't blame him though. Most people ask about his arm, and Hydra and all the court trials. Steve almost punched a news reporter for asking that.

"Tropical punch. How does that sound?" Steve sighed and agreed, content with Bucky's decision.

"Who are we inviting again? I really don't want our house to catch on fire." Bucky smiled and stalked to kitchen to grab tropical punch. Wait, sorry, not the  _kitchen_. The  _Chamber of Death and Excessive Refreshments._  (Or CDER for simple terms.) Steve followed him.

"The team. And a few others...."

"Please, don't say my therapist."

"Steeeeve! She's really pretty and so nice. Come on!"

"So is your therapist! Please tell me you didn't invite them." Steve was already cringing from the awkwardness of the situation. After a long week of pouring out his feelings and intermost thoughts, seeing his therapist while he was trying to relax was such a horrid idea. Plus, he's sure that's illegal. Or _highly_ unprofessional. No matter how attractive and genial they are.

"No, Steve. I really didn't. Relax," Steve exhaled in relief, "I'm pretty sure that's illegal. By friends, I mean some other people you and I know. Like Sharon, Annie, Carmen, Alex, Broderick, etc."

So, this won't be a shitshow. That was promising.

Steve checked the time and decided to get into his costume. He was pretty proud of this one. Steve picked out their halloween outfits after all. This was their first Halloween together since 1941 and with their knowledge of pop culture, Steve got the amazing idea to go as Goose and Maverick from Top Gun. Yeah, the movie came out in _80's_ but it's a guaranteed party pleaser.

He stepped in the jumpsuit and sifted through his drawer for his sunglasses.

This, Halloween party was going to be the best on the block.

 

As people filtered into their average sized home, Steve was sort of regretting this. It was only a half hour into the party and the punchbowl was spiked. Okay, he should've seen it coming, considering it's a well known _teenage_ party cliche. But, now, he knows it's an adult thing too. It was only a half hour in and his boyfriend was already (terribly) dancing with this guy named Mark. Bucky met him at this bar while they were going through a dip in their relationship. Steve was kind of jealous that he wasn't the one to make Bucky smile after it all. But, he entirely grateful too. 

It was only a half hour in and he was alone.

Steve set down his spiked punch--it wasn't doing anything for him anyway--and hiked to the kitchen. Shit, the _Chamber of Death and Excessive Refreshments._  He sifted through a crowd of dressed people. A mobster couple. Someone dressed as Ellen Degeneres. A whole group of women dressed as suffragettes. There was even a couple dressed as Danny and Sandy, grinding to Body Electric by Lana Del Rey. 

Who even put this song on?

 

He breathed easily when he made it to the kitchen.

Sorry, the _Chamber of Death and Excessive Refreshments_.

"Hey, Cap. What, you didn't enjoy the grinding?" Tony questioned. Steve rolled his eyes at the man who was drinking scotch from the bottle. Tony was dressed a human taby cat. He's not sure if it's Garfield or _just_  a taby cat. He doesn't feel like asking though.

"Why are you in here, drinking our Scotch? Aren't you the life of the party?" Steve snatched the bottle from Tony and poured the remains down the sink, earning a hiss from the billionaire. Tony was really taking this taby cat/Garfield persona to heart.

"Yeah, well, I was getting warmed up before you rudely interrupted me. Come on, Bruce. We'll see these losers later. I guess, Bruce and I are _truly_ gonna get the party started." Tony squinted at Steve before entering the livingroom, dragging Bruce with him (who was dressed as the 11th Doctor, wow). The majority of the party was grinding to The Hills this time. Gosh, he hoped Bucky wasn't grinding on Mark.

Steve sat where Tony left and sighed. He would do anything for Bucky to be happy, _truly_. But, _this_  wasn't one of them. He's sure he's going to hide in the--he's got it this time-- _Chamber of Death and Excessive Refreshments_. At least, Sam was with him.

"Hey man, you okay?" Steve nodded and grabbed a vodka shot. The alcohol will have no effect on him but he still enjoyed the burn it caused as slipped down his throat.

"That's a lie. How come you're not enjoying the party?" Steve took another vodka shot and tried to ignore Sam. He's sure he'll break and look at him. He doesn't last long against Sam's stare.

"Well, to be honest, I thought it was going to be a little less-" A loud scream drew him from Sam's question. He jumped up and immediately went to check out the commotion.

 _He_  wanted to scream. The couch was on fire and everyone was yelling and fist pumping around it. Someone was standing on top, breathing fire out their mouth. Definitely not human. Sam came to his side and immediately started cooing Steve into not bursting from anger. It's funny how Sam knows Steve's exact emotions.

The people around him were getting increasingly more excited. They were now chanting _do it_ intensely. Steve scanned the room for Bucky, making sure he was fucking _seeing_  this. The person who had the bright idea of having a house party.

To his surprise and boiling temper, Bucky was chanting with the crowd and laughing. If their house catches on fire tonight, Bucky's paying for the damages.

The person on the flaming couch set their whole body on fire. Everyone jumped back, startled. Then, started cheering. Steve was close to screaming. Their couch was ruined and a human lighter was pumping up the guests.

This is a _great_ house party.

It's only an hour in now.

 

The next catastrophe was Thor and Tony's fault and you're damn right they're paying for it.

Apparently, Tony bet Thor 3 Gs that his Mjölnir couldn't go through not one, but _T_ _WO_ walls. He's pretty sure Tony was drinking the spiked punch and didn't even bother to think of how ridiculous his bet was. If Mjölnir can go through a _person_  , it can go through a fucking wall. Thor must've been drunk on that Asgardian liquor.

The worst part is that Bucky condoned the _whole_ thing. He backed Tony in the affair, saying things like _no way it'll go through_  and _you gotta do it Thor_. Bucky must've been drinking too.

Outside was where the crime took place. Bucky even caught it on video. Thor even had the goshdamn nerve to give the camera a smile and thumbs up.

"Isn't it great?" Bucky was _definitely_  drunk. With the faint scent of alcohol and mystery on his lips, it was from Asgard. He was giggling through the _whole_ video. It annoyed Steve that Bucky kept looking back and forth between Steve and the video to make sure he was watching. Apparently, Bucky thought it was hilarious that they had gaping holes in not fucking one, but _TWO_  of their walls now. That'll probably be 10 Gs to fix.

He was so wrong for being optimistic before; this party was a disaster.

Only 90 minutes into the party.

 

Steve officially called it quits after the 3rd incident.

Another bet was placed for this one to go down. And this time Natasha and Clint were the culprits.

Natasha and Clint weren't satisfied with how the party was going so far. It was probably too tame for them. So, being the irrational people they are when they’re shitfaced, they started a group Russian roulette game. The dangerous game spiraled out of control. All Steve saw were knives getting wedged into his art and walls before he put a stop to it.

"Everyone get the fuck out!" He shouted. The crowd cheered in response and laughed. But, this time Steve didn't have a cooing Sam in his ear.

"I mean it, get the fuck out. Before I make you."

"He means it guys. Please leave." Sam finally came to his side, getting people to move out the door. Some people he's never seen before congratulated him on the way out. A few patted him on the chest and Steve had to fight the urge to break their arm. Bucky practically hugged everyone who was leaving.

"Sorry about your place, man." Clint looked at least a bit remorseful but Steve's anger was tipping off the charts. He swears if Clint touches him.....

He doesn't, he just leaves with Natasha.

Sam squeezes his shoulder and leaves without another word.

 

With everyone gone, Bucky stares at Steve. Bucky's pupils were blown wide, only a thin ring of steel blue circling around the rim. Steve _knew_  that look.

"Bucky, if you think we're gonna do anything close to that right now, you're ridiculous. I'm sleeping at Sam's." With that, Steve stomped out of the house, slamming the door behind him and Bucky knew he fucked up.

 

The party only lasted 2 hours.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Have a wonderful day and love y'all :) Happy Halloween!


End file.
